Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Ghetto Ish




Wave caps. I hate them. No...you don't understand, if I should ever run into the man who invented wave caps, I would hurt him. So my "friend" we will call him a friend ALWAYS wears wave caps, around the house, to bed, as if ONE wave is really going to make a fucking difference.
Oh, by the way, if you are not of color and happen to be reading this you probably aren't following, let me explain.

Black men, other men of color depending on their hair texture tend to wear wave caps to increase "waviness?", unless they have naturally curly hair that doesn't require assistance. To provide an example, let's compare Rick Fox(wavy hair) to Martin(tightly coiled). Anyway...again, wave caps SUCK. At this very moment I'm glaring at my friend with his wave cap on....ghetto ass shit...anyway that's my damn rant today...holla! tomorrow I will discuss people who like to sing loud in public....or maybe I won't .....

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Single Life and Dad Sucks

After watching the new Chris Rock flick, "I Think I Love My Wife" I set off to case the mall to verify the theory behind the movie. In short, the movie basically suggests that married life is well.....boring.

My first stop was the pretzel spot, I think it's called "Auntie's Pretzels", I can't stand the originality of that. Anywho, when I arrived there were at least 10 folks standing in line, shifting from side to side, patiently waiting of course. In my peripheral I noticed a glimmer of red and white, bouncing up and down, nervously, then I began to feel a few light bumps to the back of my leg, I looked down. There she was dressed with her daddy in the cutest little cheerleading outfit, with ringlets of curls, asking thousands if not millions of questions with each breath. Dad this, Dad that, but DAD was staring off into the distance at a 22-year olds ass. Dad fucking sucks. Marriage sucks if has to be that way. I think I will wait until I don't have to stare off into the distance....wishing.

I refuse to accept that being married equates to boredom. Surely, there is a way to make it passionate and wonderful forever. I think I know..SEX, SEX, fucking, SEX, and lastly WILD monkey sex. I am totally over-sexing my man when I get married, to the point that when he sees other women he will quiver and say no, not again, no!!! I mean that shit!

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